Funeral poems to honour and remember loved ones

Funeral poems to honour and remember loved ones

I am sorry if you are reading this at a time when you are in the tender moments of planning a funeral. I hope the following funeral poems bring some comfort and inspiration. Even if the poem you need isn’t in this short offering, the purpose of this blog is to support and guide you as you journey through planning and preparing for a funeral with the focused task of finding an appropriate funeral poem or alternative.

If you are here out of curiosity, or via a wild wandering that online searches often take, please enjoy the range of poetry and my musings. You may also want to plan your own funeral which is becoming more popular, as we evolve to be braver and more bold in how we create ceremony, which very much includes funerals.

Whatever your reason for reading is — Welcome.

Sourcing poetry whilst planning a funeral can feel like a tall order. There’s so much to think about, we are in the midst of early grief and often shock too. We will be riding a wave of emotions and the vast array of feelings we experience can be exhausting and confusing. Some of us haven’t read or written a poem since our school days and some of us may not read poetry on a regular basis or at all.

As part of any of my ceremony packages, I offer support with seeking materials for readings AND I really want you to know that poetry doesn’t have to be stuffy or boring. The world of poetry is wide and welcoming, rich and diverse. Often a million miles away from our experiences in education! Finding a worthy poem may well open doors to other parts of the funeral service planning.

"Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance." - Carl Sandburg

 

A funeral poem for everyone

Spirituality, atheism, paganism, humanism, all religions and non-religions embrace and celebrate poetry. Poetry can reach all cultures, creeds and lifestyles and it doesn’t have to be dry or meaningless, in fact the opposite. Finding the funeral poems that fit your person, which you feel reflects them well can bring solace and be a nourishing experience. Know there is a poem out there for everyone.

 

Finding a funeral poem — the right fit

I love to leaf through a poetry book, the older the better! The indescribable scent of an old book, faded or yellowing pages, worn with age and years of use. As a celebrant I have an abundant library of poetry books, both traditional and contemporary. This rich resource serves me well when creating bespoke ceremonies not exclusively funerals. I’m an old fashioned kinda gal so opt for rummaging through a real book over an internet search any day of the week. A broad statement but I do love to read both classic poets and contemporary writers in equal measure.

Throughout the ages poetry has offered us word medicine and captured the essence of humanity and all its elements. For those without an extensive poetry library, the power of Ecosia or Google search engines is perfectly sound and more often than not, come up trumps! Use key words from the answers in the following questions and refine accordingly.

 

Seven questions to explore:

When seeking out an appropriate funeral poem or reading as part of funeral planning, I think about all I have gleaned from meeting with the bereaved family or friends.

Ask yourself the following questions:

1.What was at the heart of the deceased’s life? In other words, what made them tick or brought them joy?

2. What did they love? Family, dear friends, favourite places?

3. What were their hobbies and interests?

4. What were their key life experiences? Travel, family, legacies?

5. What was their profession/work or area of study? Voluntary roles?

6. If they enjoyed poetry, who was their favourite poet? Did they have a favourite poem?

7. Would an alternative to a poem be more fitting on this occasion?

 

Other considerations

Aside from pre-existing poetry, you may wish to consider other options. Does a family, friend or community member want to write a dedicated poem for the planned funeral ceremony?

Does a reading have to be a poem? No, not at all! The content and shaping of the funeral is for the chief mourner with family/friends to decide, supported by your celebrant, religious representative or whomever is conducting the funeral ceremony. Song lyrics, an extract from a story (not just for children's funerals), a quote even a limerick or spoken word piece, could be chosen.

I believe funerals should truly reflect the one we are saying farewell to and that their funeral is a celebration of THEIR life. If you share this view, it’s deeply important to remember this with all aspects of funeral planning. For example, if humour was readily present in their way of being, bring that to the ceremony script. Skilled celebrants will encapsulate this in the ceremony design whilst still crafting a ceremony that embraces reverence. An independent and local funeral director to me Family Tree Funerals honour bespoke funeral ceremonies and will be truly supportive throughout the funeral planning process.

 

Ten poems to consider in funeral planning

The following funeral poems have been chosen for this blog for a wide variety of reasons and to portray that poetry has the potential to represent and reach everyone. I have added my reflections to each piece.

 

1: As long is there is love, there will be grief by Heidi Priebe

The grief of time passing, of life moving on half-finished, of empty spaces that were once bursting with the laughter and energy of people we loved.

As long as there is love there will be grief because grief is love’s natural continuation.

It shows up in the aisles of stores we once frequented, in the half-finished bottle of wine we pour out, in the whiff of cologne we get two years after they’ve been gone.

Grief is a giant neon sign, protruding though everything, pointing everywhere, broadcasting loudly, “Love was here”.

In the finer print, quietly, “Love still is”.

This poem is a popular choice and understandably so. It’s an honouring to both love and grief and I feel it’s extremely relatable with the references to the everyday.

 

2. Music, when soft voices die by Percy Bysshe Shelley

Music, when soft voices die,

Vibrates in the memory—

Odours, when sweet violets sicken,

Live within the sense they quicken.

Rose leaves, when the rose is dead,

Are heaped for the beloved's bed;

And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,

Love itself shall slumber on. 

A possible option for a musician, singer or creative individual. I love the floral references and notion of the immortality of love despite death. It is a beautiful choice with a focus on keeping love and memories alive.

 

3:  The Gentle Gardener by Edgar Albert Guest 

I’d like to leave but daffodils

   to mark my little way,

To leave but tulips red and white

   behind me as I stray;

I’d like to pass away from earth

   and feel I’d left behind

But roses and forget-me-nots

   For all who come to find.

 

I’d like to sow the barren spots

   with all the flowers of earth,

To leave a path where those who come

   should find but gentle mirth;

And when at last I’m called upon

   to join the heavenly throng

I’d like to feel along my way

   I’d left no sign of wrong.

 

And yet the cares are many

   and the hours of toil are few;

There is not time enough on earth

   for all I’d like to do;

But, having lived and having toiled,

   I’d like the world to find

Some little touch of beauty

   That my soul had left behind.

A choice for someone who loved to spend time in the garden, an avid allotment fan, a professional gardener, horticulturist and lover of growing. I adore the care and consciousness of this gardener and their idea that their garden will still be enjoyed by others when they are physically no longer here to tend it, expressed richly in the lines:

‘I’d like to sow the barren spots with all the flowers of earth,To leave a path where those who come should find but gentle mirth’.

 

4:  Do not Weep for me - Author Unknown

Do not weep for me for I have not gone.
I am the wind that shakes the mighty Oak.
I am the gentle rain that falls upon your face.
I am the spring flower that pushes through the dark earth.
I am the chuckling laughter of the mountain stream.
Do not weep for me for I have not gone.

I am the memory that dwells in the heart of those that knew me.
I am the shadow that dances on the edge of your vision.
I am the wild goose that flies south at Autumns call and I shall return at Summer rising.
I am the stag on the wild hills way.
I am just around the corner.

Therefore, the wise weep not.
But rejoice at the transformation of my Being.

Selected for its stunning nature symbolism and the transformative references. The words are touching, especially the line, “I am the shadow that dances on the edge of your vision” the sense of being just a breath away is a tender comfort.

 

5: The Wild by Ebony Black

I am a bird flying high and free,
A sleek grey dolphin in a shimmering sea,
A tawny lion with long sharp claws,
And a stealthy crocodile with powerful jaws.

I am the rain falling from the sky,
A bolt of lightning, never shy,
A rumbling earthquake way down deep,
And a crescendo of wind stopping you sleep.

I am a horse, hooves pounding the ground,
A streak of red, paws not making a sound,
A tiger hunched down, stalking its prey,
And a gentle cow, asleep in the hay.

I am the fire they try so hard to tame,
A tiny spark to a roaring flame,
A dozen waves crashing on the shore,
And an unknown beast on the ocean floor.

I am the cry of the wolf to the moon,
A ripple of heat in the month of June,
A swirl of blossoms falling from the tree,
And a soaring eagle's mournful scree.

I am a river in a far-off land,
A plethora of pebbles in a bed of sand,
A jagged mountain standing tall,
And an expanse of snow poised to fall.

The call of the wild is in my soul,
A song, a whisper, making me whole,
So I must go as I'm told,
To chase the stars before I'm old.

A spiritual poem referencing the soul, the animal kingdom and this wild world, it could be used for an animal or nature lover’s funeral. The poet creates a sense of immortality through their creative descriptions of being present in a different way, i.e.”A tiny spark to a roaring flame”.

The following famous poem specifically for Pilots provides an exciting recollection of a pilot’s experience with a gentle nod to religion.

 

6: High Flight by John Gillespie Magee

"Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of — wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there,
I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air....

Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace.
Where never lark, or even eagle flew —
And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
– Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.”

 

7: Number’s Up by Rebecca Spilsbury

I loved going to bingo
And seeing all my chums
I’d listen out for numbers
Hoping they would be the ones

A line, a house would pass me by
The frustration could make a grown man cry!

But I was patient and not het up
Eyes looking down, ears pricked like a pup
I’d calmly wait to hear the call
The call that says this is the ball

BINGO, I shout, it’s my time
I finally got to complete that line!

I’ve been a daughter, mum, nan and wife
I had a ball and enjoyed my life
It’s just that when I heard the call
The call had my number on the ball.
Live on now, make me proud of what you’ll become.

A positive, fun and light hearted poem with a touching sentiment and encouraging last line for those left behind.

 

8. The Window Cleaner by Elizabeth Fleming

A window cleaner's life is grand!

Hurrying up his ladder-stair,

He sets himself with mop in hand

To let in sunshine everywhere;

It makes me feel I'd like to be

A window cleaner too, like him,

Taking my ladder round with me

To get at windows dark and dim.

Having my polisher and mop

On every dull and grimy pane,

I'd rub, and rub, and never stop

Until I made them bright again;

I'd do the same by high and low,

Making their glass so shiny-clean

That all who looked through it would know

At once—the window-man had been!

This piece is fun, light and literal. I love the sentiment about the window cleaner letting the sunshine in everywhere. An alternative could be a poem about reflections.

 

9: The Prophet by Kahlil Gilbra

For what is it to die?
But to stand naked in the wind
and to melt into the sun.
And what is it to cease breathing?
But to free the breath from its restless tides,
that it may rise and expand and seek God, unencumbered.

Only when you drink from the river of silence
shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top,
then you shall begin to climb.
And the earth shall claim your limbs.
Then shall you truly dance.

This poem entwines that death is a part of life and that something exquisite, otherworldly and freeing awaits us.

 

10. Funeral Prayer by Don Paterson

Today we friends and strangers meet
because our friend is now complete.
She has left time. Perhaps we feel
we are the ghosts and her the real —
so fixed and constant does she seem,
so starlike. May the human dream
arise again to find her woken
at its heart, though to be spoken
once is as miraculous
as a thousand times. What utters us,
blind nature, told the trees and birds
and bright stars; yet of all the words
we knew, her name was the most dear.
We give thanks she was spoken here.

This last poem touches upon the surreal feeling after a dear one dies. It recognises so sincerely, how at a funeral, we may come together and the grief and liminal space is shared. I feel the gratitude expressed on the last line and how her named is infinitely precious holds such strength and a positive way of remembering.

 

Support with successful funeral poem searching

I wish you well in your funeral planning, whilst experiencing life in a sea of emotions. As a celebrant I will always offer to support you through this process. Finding the right words, a poetic fit that feels like an honouring to your beloved and a comfort to those in mourning.

"Death ends a life, not a relationship." - Mitch Albom

Give yourself as much time as you can and don’t be afraid to ask others in your search. People want to help at this tender time and this is a clear practical task to ask for support with. Ultimately the chief mourner, if that’s you, tends to decide on the final contact but the offerings of a poetry shortlist may save you some time and energy whilst grieving.

Other sources of information and support:

The Good Grief Trust — A UK-based network. Umbrella to over 1000 charities and services.

The Good Grief Project— for bereaved parents.

More funeral blogs coming soon…